No.0116：Stability and instability.
July 30,2023
In high school, I remember being filled with anxiety and dissatisfaction, and thinking that these things would organize themselves through many experiences, and one day they would disappear cleanly and lead to stability, and maybe that is what it means to be an adult.
Certainly, as I approach 50 years of age, I am much less anxious and dissatisfied than I was in high school, and I sometimes wonder if I have reached a point of stability. I can now use such a nice technique to deal with many inexplicable things in a flexible and peaceful way, letting go or giving up, without being too eager to solve them.
But sometimes a strong feeling of anxiety or dissatisfaction strikes me. The vocalist of the THE BLUE HEARTS once said that even when you grow up, what pisses you off is still pissing you off, and that's okay, and that's why you should listen to rock music. I really think that's true.
On the other hand, strong anxiety and dissatisfaction can become intense energy. This is the hungry state expressed in sports guts cartoons. It is a kind of motivation that is not clear, such as, "There is no way I can lose to a wealthy person." It is difficult for people to be serious when they are in a state of low anxiety and dissatisfaction.
In order to recreate such a feeling, I was inspired by the music I listened to during difficult times, the thoughts of people who have been lost, places filled with memories, and I touched them again, feeling that there is not a little thing I can still do.
