No.0153：Like a cockroach ... Not So Bad
August 28,2026
 
The Cockroaches Strike Back
The Chief Justice of India compared unemployed young people to “cockroaches.” In response, one young man formed the “Cockroach Party.” Around the same time, it was revealed that questions had been leaked from an entrance exam, one of the few remaining hopes for young people from poor families trying to climb their way up in society. Fueled by that anger as well, the movement gained tens of millions of followers online and eventually forced the education minister to resign. A huge victory. These days, when I am thoroughly fed up with condescending authority figures, it was the kind of story that felt deeply satisfying.
 
Fuel for Those Who Have Less
The anger of those “cockroaches” brought back memories of my own past. My family was not particularly well off when I was a child, so my parents could not spend much money on my education. I used to envy classmates who were taking several kinds of private lessons at once. Maybe because of that, I became determined not to lose to people who had more advantages when it came to actual results. Even when a friend turned down an invitation by saying, “I’ve got cram school,” I would tell myself, partly out of pride and partly because I genuinely believed it, that I could get more done studying alone anyway. Frustration was the fuel that pushed me to work harder.
 
Defiance and Self-Satisfaction
Somewhere along the way, my taste in music naturally shifted from pop idols to rock and punk. I especially liked British bands such as the Rolling Stones, the Sex Pistols, and Oasis. I think I was drawn, unconsciously, to their resistance against the upper classes of Britain’s deeply stratified society. I often listened to songs from the stage before they were described as “reigning over the rock world,” when the bands still radiated an unmistakable feeling of, “We’re going to claw our way to the top.”
 
In much the same way, I began choosing clothes and books that were different from what everyone else liked. “Counterculture” became one of my favorite words. I enjoyed seeing myself as someone standing slightly outside the mainstream. Then I gradually became aware of what I was doing and started to find my own deliberate eccentricity a little embarrassing. Something good is good, and something disappointing is disappointing. If you do not throw away those strange filters, opportunities may simply turn their backs on you.
 
The Cockroach Way
Perhaps because I spent my youth pushing back against people above me, I have never been good at flattering authority. I feel disgust when I see a prime minister who goes out of his way to flatter the American president while acting arrogantly toward cabinet ministers and others beneath him. Maybe because of this part of my personality, clients who place great importance on hierarchy sometimes treat me carelessly. At times like that, I quietly tell myself that being a “cockroach” is perfectly fine. The anger starts feeding my motivation. Damn you.
 
But when the treatment gets too ridiculous, the whole thing begins to feel pointless. For example, I get worn down when regular meetings turn into little more than displays of dominance, with everyone obsessing over tiny corrections to the wording of specifications as if they were grading school essays. Whether we write “smartphone” or use its shortened Japanese equivalent has absolutely no impact on the outcome. That’s what we’re arguing about? ... Time to get out. The best move is to scurry away as fast as a cockroach across a kitchen floor. I have no intention of getting caught in a cockroach trap and slowly wasting away.
 
Running Out of Gas Called Satisfaction
On the other hand, there are times when clients appreciate my willingness to respond flexibly to requirements that change from day to day and treat me with great respect. Of course I am happy about it, but at the same time it can feel strangely uncomfortable, like wearing borrowed clothes that do not quite suit me. I think it is about right to assume that good times are temporary, that they will not last forever, and that one unexpected event could easily break everything apart. Like a romance across a social divide that burns fiercely in the face of opposition, only to fall apart not long after everyone finally gives it their blessing.
 
Likewise, despite taking pride in living simply, I sometimes feel a contradiction in the person I have become now that I have a little money and can spend it on expensive things, such as reproduction jeans, that the old me could never have afforded. I tell myself that what attracts me is the story behind the object, the beauty of its function, or a design so good that explaining it would almost feel vulgar. Maybe I am fooling myself. I cannot completely deny that part of me simply wants to show off. Like Suneo from Doraemon, proudly displaying some rare treasure he finally managed to get through his father’s glamorous connections.
 
Never Forget the Beginner’s Spirit - Zeami
 
Satisfaction drains the fuel called dissatisfaction. I do not want to become so obsessed with preserving my reasonably comfortable life today that I give up on aspirations whose chances of success I cannot even predict. And if the result is that people laugh at me, or I find myself lacking something again, I want to keep myself from becoming bitter and turn forward once more. Living like a cockroach, stubbornly refusing to die and finding a way to survive, does not sound so bad.